Graduation Day!

The past 11 days have felt like an eternity. I was so stressed out and wondered how today's appointment would turn out. The day and time was finally here and when Dr. K. walked in to the ultrasound room and asked how everything is going. I told him I was stressed but it was mostly self induced. With no bleeding or spotting, very little cramping, and recent onset of nausea and smell aversions, he smiled and I felt calmer.

I greeted the vag cam and we started the ultrasound.

So there he or she is! And yes, it's a single baby! We could see a flicker immediately while Dr. K. pointed out the yolk sac and the beginnings of an embryo sac. I was too busy looking for the flicker to appear again to pay attention. Eventually, after measuring everything, he ran the sound on the ultrasound and we heard a beautiful heart beat of 138bpm! It was the most exciting and beautiful thing I've heard in my life! While looking around, he also recommended a really good OB and Midwife and said I'm ready to graduate. Insert sad face here. I'm really going to miss Dr. K, but I'm really happy this is turning out well so far.

A Bittersweet Day

Today was our 4th and last therapy session with Dr. L. Over the weekend, DeeJ randomly realized that Dr. L. would be the first person we're telling about the pregnancy in person. So when we got there and DeeJ was all smiles, she naturally asked how everything is going. She could barely finish the question before DeeJ said, "We're pregnant!" Her facial response in that moment said it all for me. There was genuine happiness, surprise and shock. And I almost cried. It was happy moment for all 3 of us and completely changed the tone of the appointment. For the next hour, we talked about a variety of things.

For example, how I find it to be ironic that when DeeJ and I first started TTC, I exuded more confidence than DeeJ and that we would be able to handle getting pregnant and the expense and responsibility of having a child. He worried about debt, not being a good Dad and overall just being able to provide a good life. Now that we're here, I'm a mess. I can't sleep, I feel and look like crap and I'm very nervous about the first trimester. I can't even think or focus on anything else. Meanwhile, DeeJ is calling contractors to properly insulate the house and other odds and ends to make the house comfortable for a child. We also talked about what I can do to help with the morning sickness and how to change my diet so that I'm not always hungry. Dr. L also talked me through adjusting my mindset so that I can feel happy about this pregnancy and not feel like a failure waiting to happen.We also talked about why we haven't told anyone in our family yet and this where we agree to disagree. DeeJ has consistently wanted to wait until we hear a heartbeat, whereas the way I see it, since our parent were aware of our struggles and prepping IVF, we might as well tell them now.

At least that's how I felt a couple of weeks ago. Within the past several months, but even more so the past couple of weeks, DeeJ and I have been dealing with a big family issue. DeeJ's step mom found out that she has stage 4 cancer. She's been going through clinical trails and radiation therapy, but this cancer seems to be exceptionally aggressive. Over the weekend, her results came back and now she has a tumor on her brain and she's scheduled to have surgery tomorrow. My heart hurts for her, my FIL, and for DeeJ. With this going on, I don't feel right announcing this week.

After our appointment was over, Dr. L. gave me her card and asked that we keep her updated, which we definitely will. Then, she hugged me and I almost cried again. I'm going to miss speaking to Dr. L. regularly, but she was the best thing that DeeJ did for me and I'm grateful for that. Who knows; she also specializes in parenting counseling, and even though I wouldn't want to see her again under the wrong circumstances, maybe I'll get to speak to her again some day. 

A summary of my day in IT

I got a call a couple of days ago from one of my users. She told me that her laptop hinge was cracked and the display was acting funny. I figured, no biggie. I'll just call Dell because the laptop is still under warranty and I'll have it fixed. I opened a ticket and a tech came out yesterday. She hands me the laptop, I hand it to the tech and that's that, right? Uh, WRONG! He comes over to my desk and he's laughing. He says, "Well, I looked at the laptop and hinge is broken." Then he opens the laptop and shows me this:

What in the ever loving hell did this woman do to the laptop? Not that it matter because it's considered physical damage and cost $302 for parts and labor. Awesome. About an hour later, the tech returns the laptop me and it's as good as new. I returned the laptop to its owner and she starts asking all of these questions about there being plastic all over the casing. I explained to her that the tech had to replace the entire chassis because the of the hinge. I also told her that Dell determined that it was physical damage and charged us for it. She says, "I didn't drop it if that's what you're thinking." Well, now I'm thinking that. Thanks for putting that out there. There also gems said such as, "It must be a Dell defect and they should own up to it." and "Is it going to come out of my paycheck?".Yeah, except that everybody has this laptop and she's the only one with a hinge that fully separated from the display. I wish I could take it out of her paycheck. Thank goodness this week is almost over.

Best ultrasound EVAR!

Or possibly the second best. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've ever been happy to see the vag cam. Today was my ultrasound appointment with Dr. K and it couldn't have gone better. Dr. K, DeeJ and I liked what we saw, but we're not quite agreeing on how far along I am. I say 5w1d, he thinks I'm closer to 6 weeks. I'm not going to argue against ultrasound dating; I'm not that crazy. So while Dr. K was looking around, I jokingly asked if he only sees 1 sac and referenced my betas. He laughed; then stopped laughing. He said, "Well it's still early, but I think I see 2 yolk sacs." Um, what? He went on to say that it is really too early, and that he'll know for sure after our next appointment on the 14th. He also seemed kind of bummed because he was also able to see the fetal pole, but it was definitely too early for a heartbeat. He said, "I feel like the heartbeat is going to start tonight." So now we wait again, hopefully for the real best ultrasound ever.