2,292 > 1,003

I was getting my hair washed when I got the call from Dr. K's office. I'm not ashamed to say that this was my reaction:

Poor shampoo girl. I'm pretty sure she got soaked because I jumped up so fast. 

This time I spoke to Nurse A. I could hear her smiling while she spoke to me. 2,292! I can't believe that is my second beta number. Since I've passed the 2,000 mark, I don't have to get another beta, but I will be seeing Dr. K. for an ultrasound. This whole thing is still blowing my mind. After my surgery, I had a post-op follow-up with Dr. K on January 31st. At the end of the appointment, he asked me to book another appointment in about 6 weeks because I was supposed to be taking Lupron. So I made my next it for March 3rd and was on my way. When I missed my chance to start the Lupron, I remember telling DeeJ this past Friday that I was going to cancel the appointment because I was expecting my period to arrive and wouldn't be taking Lupron for at least another 3 weeks. But I never got to cancel that appointment and now I'm getting an ultrasound!

I feel happy and excited, but for some reason, it hasn't registered in my brain yet. I keep looking for my BBT in the mornings and I keep going into Fertility Friend to look at my chart. Maybe it's habit but whatever my deal is, I need to get it together. If I could smack some sense into myself, I would. 

It just got real.

Shocked and speechless. Two words that I've used constantly in the past 2 days since getting my 2 lines. Derek and I randomly start laughing because it just seems so unreal. It felt like a dream yesterday so I took another test today, this time a digital and sure enough, it read "Pregnant".

We're both really happy and excited, but very anxious. We had just resolved to the idea that it wouldn't happen for us naturally. We were making a game plan. How many times would we cycle? What would we do if we're unsuccessful? I had my own anxieties about the medication and whether or not I would respond. And to hear over the past 3 months things like, "IVF is your best shot given your condition..." or "Well your chances of conceiving naturally isn't 0% but it's not the average either..." now makes me feel... Well, confused. But for now, we wait. I went for my first beta this morning and should have the numbers this afternoon. All we can do is hope that between today and Thursday that they double like they're supposed to.

TeeJ: 1 - Insurance: 0!

Sort of... I can't believe that I've spent 3 weeks trying to get prior authorization for my Lupron prescription. I got the prescription on the 31st and I knew right away that I would need approval before it could be filled. I called Dr. K's office the same day to let them know that. I really didn't think it would be a problem. But...  It took a week for the office to file the prior authorization forms. Then, it was denied because the insurance company didn't think it was medically necessary. So I had to go back and deal with Dr. K's office because Dr. K is out of the country. Even with my constant calling, there was no movement on their part until DeeJ urged me to email Dr. K directly. Within 45 minutes, he not only responded, but told the Dr. covering his cases exactly what to state in the medical necessity letter. When I saw the phrase "severe Endometriosis" in the letter, I panicked and started reverting back to my old negative thoughts. Am I going through all of this for nothing? How is it so severe, and I not only cycle on my own, but I'm pretty regular, but I feel no pain or discomfort? And so on, and so forth. I also started questioning whether or not I should stay with Dr. K. I have nothing against him and I personally think he's great, but his staff clearly lacks efficiency. The last thing I need is to be mid-cycle and Dr. K becomes unavailable. I just get this feeling that everybody would just stand there and wait for him to return. But all of my thoughts and feelings didn't last very long. Yesterday, I received a call from my insurance company saying that my prescription was approved! It was like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! Unfortunately, the woman who called didn't tell me that it approved for mail order prescriptions only. BOO!!!! Since I already submitted my prescription to my local CVS, they canceled the prescription and now I have to get a new one. Awesome. First thing this morning, I called Dr. K's office again and asked for a new script. About an hour later, I got a call from Nurse L. I really like Nurse L. She's really nice, and every time I see her, we're matching a piece of clothing. After I told her what happened, she said she'll take care of it and even get me the rest of my scripts for all of my meds for the next cycle so that we don't have to go through this again. I wish they would just let Nurse L. handle everything because all of the other nurses and staff I've spoken to, no one else thought of or suggested that. Ah well. So that's the good news. The bad news is that I was supposed to start taking my Lupron during the middle of my luteal phase. With CD1 coming tomorrow, that obviously isn't going to happen. So unless Dr. K says otherwise, it looks like I'm benched until my next luteal phase. That plus 4 weeks of Lupron puts me at the end of April.

TeeJ, back away from the power tools... Slowly.

DeeJ and I have owned this house for almost 4 years and I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I'm not as good at DIY as I thought I was. Painting? Sure! Hanging shelves, and some electrical work? Why not! But don't ever ask me to hang drywall. Ever! I can't for the life of me get it right. Sigh...

We renovated our kitchen a couple of years ago, but we really want a separate pantry. It was my bright idea to expand the wall about 2 feet so that we can install a pantry cabinet. So, DeeJ, our resident handyman, put up the framing and I would be responsible for putting up the drywall and blending it in with the existing wall. Of course DeeJ's framing is perfect. After 2 attempts, I thought I finally got the drywall right. I even let it sit for a week to see it in different lighting to make sure it looked right. But after painting it yesterday, I can see all of the bumps and unevenness of the compound/plaster mix. UGH! DeeJ thinks it doesn't look that bad, but I disagree.

Here's DeeJ taking down the old framing that I messed up the first time:

This is after putting up drywall for the second time:

Finished product? The line down the middle is driving me crazy!

I'm not sure if I'm going to sand it down and try again, just leave it alone, or put up a pretty piece of art, but for now, very annoyed.

IVF anyone?

Yesterday I had my second surgery. I don't remember much (thanks anesthesia and morphine!), but I do remember getting there at 10 and not being discharged until close to 7. They put so much morphine in my system for the pain that I'm pretty sure I would've ended up staying overnight. I really wanted to go home. I really wanted real food, not crackers and ginger ale. So as soon as I woke up, DeeJ got the nurses, they helped me get dressed and I was on my way. I got some food from the Cheesecake Factory to go and I was a happy girl.

As for the surgery, DeeJ spoke to Dr. K. so I don't have all of the details, but I got the gist of how things went. First, apparently there was an issue while I was going under anesthesia. My throat seized up and started closing up with the use of a shortened tube so they had to use a full breathing tube. Yikes! I couldn't help but wonder if that happened with my first surgery. After I woke up from the first surgery, I couldn't breathe or swallow for a few days. I had daily panic attacks because every time I try to take a pill, it felt like it was stuck. The anesthesiologist for my first surgery had horrible bedside manner any way so it wouldn't surprise me if he tried that shorter tube a few times and wasn't happy about using additional equipment. Yeah, I know I'm speculating, but I really didn't like him. Going back to yesterday's surgery, Dr. K. told DeeJ that my uterus is in great shape with no fibroids or polyps. Most of my time under was spend addressing my Endo, which was pretty bad. He noted that I have lots of Endo and scar tissue on other parts of my body besides my ovaries. Great. Just great. DeeJ didn't ask where so I don't know, but will ask during my follow-up in a couple of days. He also confirmed that the Endo is forcing my ovaries to stick together behind my uterus. We agreed before hand that if removing the Endo would compromise my ovaries and eggs, to leave them be and just aspirate the cysts, which is what he did. Because of where my ovaries are located, Dr.K. believes that my eggs aren't being captured by the fimbriae and sent down my tubes, making IUI useless. So his official recommendation is IVF. I have so many questions and maybe it's the after effects of the morphine talking, I do wonder if I should have consented to him separating my ovaries. I wonder if it would've given me a chance to try naturally or with IUI. I don't regret my decision because the way I see it, I'd rather have plenty of eggs, which with my AMH being a 4.4 suggests that I do, than reduce my numbers and further limit my chances, but I'll always wonder what if.

Day 2...

I finally decided to follow through and go back to being a vegetarian. I was never much of a meat eater, but I was a vegetarian a couple of years ago with the thought that I would improve my eating habits and health before DeeJ and I would have children. But I really didn't put enough effort into it by trying new things. It was always pasta, soy, and tofu so I not only got tired of it quickly, but started losing weight to the point of being unhealthy. My vegetarian lifestyle was put on hold right around the time I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. I went back to meat, especially burgers, because it was my comfort food. It made me feel better in spite of everything that was going on with my body and us having to put our plans on hold. Even with having a really good burger (and I've had plenty!), it's been in the back of my mind to go back to my vegetarian diet. I was going to start last month, but I didn't want to treat it like a New Year Resolution; it should be much more than that. So, I started yesterday and even though it's still early, so far so good!

The first thing I'm doing differently is talking to others that are vegetarians. The more recipes and varieties I have, the better. So far, I got a really great recipe for sweet potato soup and spinach and butternut squash lasagna. I also got a recommendation for a cookbook that I plan to buy this weekend. The next thing I'm doing differently is making more of an effort to cook outside of my comfort zone. Whether it's cooking with or without meat, I really want to start preparing foods in different ways. For example, when I make pork chops for DeeJ, it's always broiled. Or when I make chicken, it's either baked or breaded then baked. You get the idea. It's time for me to try frying things or cooking with different spices. I think as long as I follow through with those changes, I should be able to keep this up for longer than 2 years.

Survey says...

They love me! They really love me!

I've been in IT for 10 years, but at this job for 2 and a half years doing technical support and project management. I've also done my share of daycare management... Of my boss. Anyhoo, our CIO sent out a survey to all of the employees for feedback on how they view the IT department. My first impression was annoyance; I always feel like IT people get a bad rap. As far as a lot of people are concerned, typical IT people are anti-social, "know it alls", and cold. And to some extent, I agree, but ultimately, I think IT people are misunderstood. There are plenty of IT people that are pleasant, personable, and don't make a user feel like they're stupid for asking a question (even though I have heard more than my share of stupid questions, especially at this job). I will admit that I am socially awkward and uber nerdy if you hang out with me long enough, but I'm not the typical IT person. And according to the feedback from the survey, other people agree!

Now, when I complete surveys, I'm one of those people that don't complete the comment section; I just complete the sections that are filled out with radio buttons or check marks. Well, I have a whole new appreciation for it because the people that filled out the survey were a God send. There was so much positive feedback specifically about me that I almost cried. I really had no idea that people at my job appreciated how much I support them. The feedback really did lift my spirits and it couldn't have come at a better time.